A Prospector's Reward

Valued readers,

I have returned from my tour of duty and am already back in the States. The ten bushels I was promised? Haven't seen a kernel. I'm not sure if I even heard a thank you. Probably what I had coming, I guess, I mean I only led my battalion through a snake-infested river in the dead of night under a hail of mortar and sniper fire after we lost all our supplies when a rocket-propelled grenade struck our supply wagon while we were negotating a precarious mountain path peppered with camouflaged jihadists armed to the teeth with semi-automatic rifles and hand grenades. Anyone could have done it, right? I watched men die. I held a young man in my arms until the life faded from his eyes. And then after we crossed the river and mountain and made it to the ol' windmill, can you guess what we found? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not even an explanation of why there was nothing. The remainder of my squad were air-lifted out and I was sent home. Now I demand satisfaction! I will not rest until I receive the bushels of corn I was promised! That damn American government broke its promise to me, and I demand satisfaction! There ought to be some sort of organization that oversees the government's promises to its military volunteers, some sort of... committee... of... reliable negotiations. I will try to think of something we could call this organization, but in the meantime, I want you, my valued readers, to spread the word for me! We will receive these bushels of corn, and it will not only be a victory for prospectors across the nation, but for humans and donkeys across the globe!

So get it while it's corn,

The Prospector

Corn is patient, corn is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is easily angered, it keeps all record of wrongs.
Corn does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always prospects, always trusts, always hopes, always has preservatives.
-- 1 Cornthians 13:4-7